Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Tourist shatters fragile crystal-covered ‘Van Gogh’ chair while posing for photo: 'Terrible and shameful' | Trending - Hindustan Times - Hindustan Times

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I can count

French Open: No. 1 Aryna Sabalenka ends Swiatek's reign and meets No. 2 Coco Gauff for the trophy - AP News

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

What was your most memorable combat mission during the Vietnam War?

I can read

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I see through liars

Are Plastic Cutting Boards Safe? We Asked Experts - NBC News

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t cotton to rapists

How did the DMK alliance manage to keep the BJP out of Tamil Nadu politics all these years? Is the picture now changing in Tamil Nadu after the entry of Annamalai?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

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I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

GoFundMe for teen who rushed to Burger King shift after graduation skyrockets to $130K — and keeps climbing - AOL.com

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

If a non-LGBT man (of any age) from a Western country attracts far more mosquitoes than potential dates, what does that say about him?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

WCWS Game 1: Texas scores wild win over Texas Tech as Reese Atwood knocks in game-winning runs on failed intentional walk - Yahoo Sports

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Texas woman dies from brain-eating amoeba after cleaning sinuses with tap water - NBC News

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t buy bullshit

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says: